Agree to Disagree

> "We seldom find any person of good sense, except those who share our opinions."

There are many such insightful quotes on agreement. The gist generally being - we always look for those who agree with us. 

Why not, right?

Conversations are easier,  there isn't a need to elucidate your opinions on any topic, friendships aren't clouded with judgment based on disagreements.

Life is smooth.

I have friends like this. People that I know aren't capable of seeing a different viewpoint. It's their way or the highway. When I'm with them, I'm torn on whether I should risk annoying the person with a different take or just play the supporting friend who nods to everything.

One is always walking a fine line.

Sometimes, you just have to let a person get their points across and wait for them to cool down sufficiently before you try to get them to see a different aspect.

If not done in a sufficiently delicate manner, you risk alienating them completely.

Most of us will take the easier route. Because after all friendships and community are harder to develop and replace. The understanding, enlightenment or intelligence that arise out of a possibly harder discourse are much easier to ignore.

The Hive Mind!

Collective consciousness.

Society develops like this, with a commonality - whether right or wrong, it's shaped by either the most delicate of us who are incapable of taking criticism, or the loudest of us who are too belligerent and will easily drown out other voices.

The sensible voice is generally somewhere in the middle - it only speaks up when it has something to add and generally values listening much more than speaking. It's also unsure - because it knows that it doesn't know. It's constantly looking for a balance that is hard to come by. And under the sustained pressure to pick a side and constantly dwindling support - it disappears.

We are born and raised to believe that agreement is good, necessary and even mandatory.

Is it any surprise then that this generation resorts to arguments and cancel culture at the merest difference of opinion? 

The outrage against Dave Chapelle for instance.

I watched his last controversial special (the one where he talks about his relationship with the LGBT community). The one which caused the walkout in Netflix HQ and caused him to miss out on certain opportunities. Dave of course won't be severely impacted by any of this. But all this out lash has if anything confirmed everything he said. 

People are becoming too thin skinned! They take offense at anyone who doesn't agree with them completely. Dave has said a lot of controversial things on lots of different topics. I don't agree with everything, but I do realize that the views of a person are shaped by their experiences. Not all of these are rooted in facts. 

The LGBTQ+ community for instance, could have chosen to focus on dispelling this notion that they are notorious online bullies. Instead they doubled down on it.

Dave believes that Gender is a fact. 

So what? Why does the LGBTQ+ community give so much importance to Dave's views on Gender? Because of his reach? Because they are afraid that his words will perpetrate more discrimination against them? 

And their response is to void him of an opportunity to speak?

How is that any different from Islamic Terrorists who believe Allah is the final word and anyone who disagrees needs to be not just shut up, but also beheaded for good measure?

Ok - maybe a bit extreme comparison - but given a few hundred years and a powerful prophet, I guess it's not entirely impossible?

After all, the community has shown enough clout to force someone to take their own life by constant online bullying. 

The right solution in both these cases is, understand that others have their beliefs just as you have yours and live and let live. Be a good example and maybe people will be accepting of who you are. Try to silence dissent and what you are instilling is not respect or acceptance, but fear. And fear fuels more resentment and suddenly you are not just back to where you started, but even further behind. 

From where I saw the LGBTQ+ community as an oppressed minority, they now seem like an online marauder that shouldn't be messed with.

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Censorship in these times has gotten to a point, where anyone with a different opinion is actively sought after and "punished". Through complains to the employer, boycotts or plain online bullying. People need to learn to either repudiate your opinions through civil discourse or just develop a thick skin to read, ignore and move on. This intolerance isn't a left wing / right wing attribute - this is more pervasive and I hope as a society, as a country, we don't go the Chinese / North Korean way of silencing anyone with a different viewpoint.

This blog is an attempt to put forth my less than agreeable thoughts - because why not? Maybe I am right about certain things and people may learn to see the other side, or maybe I am wrong and I can learn and improve. Writing opens my mind - it forces me to think and I can't write something I don't believe in - so it challenges me to find evidence to support my convictions. And that's always a good thing!